finding joy in havoc and chaos....

Most of you that know me, probably know that I spend most of my life in havoc and chaos. This is not something I am proud of... and definitely a lifestyle I am trying to change. However, I am finding that changing an old pattern is not an easy task. Especially when it's a lifestyle you have lived for more than 10 years of your life. Ever since I can remember I have had "too much to do, and not enough time!" Although this lifestyle has come from an innocent heart and a desire to only do good.... I'm reminded over and over of Martha and Mary. Sometimes my heart aches for Martha, especially since her emotions and actions are too close to my own. Sister Bonnie D. Parkin used the account of Martha and Mary to teach and advise us to, "choose the good part".  Like Martha "the good part" isn't always clear for me.  I know Martha truly and sincerely felt as though she was choosing the good part. She LOVED Jesus,  she worshiped Jesus and knew that HE was her Lord and Savior. She wanted nothing more than to SERVE HIM... to let him rest in a place of order and cleanliness. She wanted to show her love to him by serving him her finest. But, although service is often a "good part", Jesus taught us that listening to His words was the better part that night...........

which, I guess is the hardest part about it. The good part isn't always constant, it changes.  The "good part" on Monday, isn't always the "good part" on Saturday. The inconsistency is often the reason I'm not very good at choosing the "good part". (which is the same reason I was always better at math than English.... 2+2 always equals four, but "i after e, except after c and exceptions..." Yea.... I've never been good at anything, when I have to "use my best judgment".  And thank goodness the Lord knows this about me.... :) Cause... in April of 2010, he gave me my constant.... the one thing that always comes first and is ALWAYS the "good part". ......My little man Jaks!

The hardest part about moving to AZ, was knowing and worrying about how it would affect Jaks. And...there is no doubt...moving has taken a toll on my little guy,. There is also no doubt that I have cried and worried about the fact that he doesn't understand why his world has been turned upside down and he isn't surrounded by a million people anymore, or by the comfort of what use to be his "home"..... However..... even amongst all of my crying and worrying, the Lord has taught me (through Jaks) that he does not command us to do anything, without providing a way to do it. In the last month Jaks has helped me understand why our Heavenly Father asks us to be "as a little child".

This month Jaks has endured 4 new teeth, a new house, a few new beds, a few car rides, a lot of new faces, not seeing old faces, and a mother who can't get it together. But.... even with all of those tribulations he has still been the one person in this house, to find joy in the journey. And for that, I owe him! Thanks Jaks.... Thanks for being the "good part!" Thanks for teaching your mom how important it is to find joy... even if it's in small small moments. Thanks for teaching me how to forgive and love someone through their weakness... .thanks for being so patient with us and for cuddling next to me, when you knew I just needed a hug. I love you!!

So here are the "good parts" of my month..... and yes, there are a million of them.. and yes they aren't edited... because right now.... making sure they look good, is not a "good part!" :)

Bath time has been our little escape lately... Jaks loves loves loves the water. We often will take a bath 2 to 3 times a day..... this being because of how dirty my son seems to end up every hour and also because it's is favorite place to be....

This particular bath time Jaks decided to bring along his drumstick. It was so funny because he wouldn't let it leave his mouth, but still managed to play with his other toys with both hands.... 
it was so funny!

And of course after bath time... :) And yes... Jaks' hair is getting out of control... it's growing in some spots and not in others... but hey we love it...

Here are a few from the park. The swings are Jaks bestfriend. Wes and I try and take him everyday so he can get fresh air and have a little outlet from the chaos at the house. (I say chaos.. because we are still under construction at our house and there is stuff every where... lol, so maybe the swings are an outlet for me from the chaos. ;) Either way we both LOVE them, and it gives me so much joy to watch his face as he sways back and forth!

Him doing his favorite thing, the same thing Wes and I find ourselves doing all day long. Walking... walking and walking.... all Jaks wants to do is hold our fingers and walk. :) And since he is the "good part" we do it. All day long.. :)

And last, but not least.... him in all his little glory. Jaks is definitely an independent little guy and one who wants to do it himself. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are a set time for a food fight. Jaks refuses to use his bid, no matter how many times I put it on him, he finds a way to yank it off. He also won't eat, unless he can put the food in himself... which is making it really difficult... but hey... a diet based solely off of Cherrios isn't bad, right? Lol... none the less... i decided to soak these moment in, instead of dreading them.... which has made the clean up after every meal not seem so bad. :)

I love you Jaks!! Thanks for helping me find JOY in the havoc and chaos these last two months! I couldn't have made it without you!