i hope they call me on a mission.....

so i have started about three times to post these pictures, and all three times i had heart felt things to say. the first time was my thoughts about service, the second about missionary work and the third was just about how blessed i feel to have one of God's choice spirits in my home.... but all three times i got interupted and was unsuccessful at actually posting the pics.... so no more deep thoughts...no story behind the suit or what caused me to want these pictures.....i think they speak for themselves. so here are a "few" ;) pictures i took in december....enjoy!

finding joy in havoc and chaos....

Most of you that know me, probably know that I spend most of my life in havoc and chaos. This is not something I am proud of... and definitely a lifestyle I am trying to change. However, I am finding that changing an old pattern is not an easy task. Especially when it's a lifestyle you have lived for more than 10 years of your life. Ever since I can remember I have had "too much to do, and not enough time!" Although this lifestyle has come from an innocent heart and a desire to only do good.... I'm reminded over and over of Martha and Mary. Sometimes my heart aches for Martha, especially since her emotions and actions are too close to my own. Sister Bonnie D. Parkin used the account of Martha and Mary to teach and advise us to, "choose the good part".  Like Martha "the good part" isn't always clear for me.  I know Martha truly and sincerely felt as though she was choosing the good part. She LOVED Jesus,  she worshiped Jesus and knew that HE was her Lord and Savior. She wanted nothing more than to SERVE HIM... to let him rest in a place of order and cleanliness. She wanted to show her love to him by serving him her finest. But, although service is often a "good part", Jesus taught us that listening to His words was the better part that night...........

which, I guess is the hardest part about it. The good part isn't always constant, it changes.  The "good part" on Monday, isn't always the "good part" on Saturday. The inconsistency is often the reason I'm not very good at choosing the "good part". (which is the same reason I was always better at math than English.... 2+2 always equals four, but "i after e, except after c and exceptions..." Yea.... I've never been good at anything, when I have to "use my best judgment".  And thank goodness the Lord knows this about me.... :) Cause... in April of 2010, he gave me my constant.... the one thing that always comes first and is ALWAYS the "good part". ......My little man Jaks!

The hardest part about moving to AZ, was knowing and worrying about how it would affect Jaks. And...there is no doubt...moving has taken a toll on my little guy,. There is also no doubt that I have cried and worried about the fact that he doesn't understand why his world has been turned upside down and he isn't surrounded by a million people anymore, or by the comfort of what use to be his "home"..... However..... even amongst all of my crying and worrying, the Lord has taught me (through Jaks) that he does not command us to do anything, without providing a way to do it. In the last month Jaks has helped me understand why our Heavenly Father asks us to be "as a little child".

This month Jaks has endured 4 new teeth, a new house, a few new beds, a few car rides, a lot of new faces, not seeing old faces, and a mother who can't get it together. But.... even with all of those tribulations he has still been the one person in this house, to find joy in the journey. And for that, I owe him! Thanks Jaks.... Thanks for being the "good part!" Thanks for teaching your mom how important it is to find joy... even if it's in small small moments. Thanks for teaching me how to forgive and love someone through their weakness... .thanks for being so patient with us and for cuddling next to me, when you knew I just needed a hug. I love you!!

So here are the "good parts" of my month..... and yes, there are a million of them.. and yes they aren't edited... because right now.... making sure they look good, is not a "good part!" :)

Bath time has been our little escape lately... Jaks loves loves loves the water. We often will take a bath 2 to 3 times a day..... this being because of how dirty my son seems to end up every hour and also because it's is favorite place to be....

This particular bath time Jaks decided to bring along his drumstick. It was so funny because he wouldn't let it leave his mouth, but still managed to play with his other toys with both hands.... 
it was so funny!

And of course after bath time... :) And yes... Jaks' hair is getting out of control... it's growing in some spots and not in others... but hey we love it...

Here are a few from the park. The swings are Jaks bestfriend. Wes and I try and take him everyday so he can get fresh air and have a little outlet from the chaos at the house. (I say chaos.. because we are still under construction at our house and there is stuff every where... lol, so maybe the swings are an outlet for me from the chaos. ;) Either way we both LOVE them, and it gives me so much joy to watch his face as he sways back and forth!

Him doing his favorite thing, the same thing Wes and I find ourselves doing all day long. Walking... walking and walking.... all Jaks wants to do is hold our fingers and walk. :) And since he is the "good part" we do it. All day long.. :)

And last, but not least.... him in all his little glory. Jaks is definitely an independent little guy and one who wants to do it himself. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are a set time for a food fight. Jaks refuses to use his bid, no matter how many times I put it on him, he finds a way to yank it off. He also won't eat, unless he can put the food in himself... which is making it really difficult... but hey... a diet based solely off of Cherrios isn't bad, right? Lol... none the less... i decided to soak these moment in, instead of dreading them.... which has made the clean up after every meal not seem so bad. :)

I love you Jaks!! Thanks for helping me find JOY in the havoc and chaos these last two months! I couldn't have made it without you!

Inspiration and Mischief...

Let's be honest.. shall we? I have about a billion and one things that I could be blogging about right now... that would actually update everyone on the wild and crazy adventure Wes, Jaks and I have gotten ourselves into these last two months, but....tonight, at this moment, I'd rather blog about what's below....   than about long late nights, long late drives, lots of lifting, big large stuffed trailers, two bad blowouts before vegas, long late jammed days of painting, scrubbing, caulking, puddying, cutting, sweeping, crying, painting, breaking mirrors, burning wholes through carpet, painting, caulking, crying, puddying, starting fires, cutting, breaking lights, painting, sweeping, scrubbing paint off new floors,  and a little boy who got four teeth in one week....... yea.... what's below is definitely a lot better. At least for now... until I can get all the boxes put away in my living room and actually get the 101 emotions that I have been feeling the last month under control.... when I do that... then I'll fill you in on our Gilbert, AZ Adventure! ;)

However, until then.... I wanted to share something that is dear to my heart and express a little gratitude. About 20 years ago (although I didn't know it at the time), I met one of my closest most cherished friends, Linzi Norton. I wish I could say that we were best friends from the beginning and that we were immediately soul sisters... but if I said that... I would be lying. No.... Satan must have known that we would eventually desperately need each other, because I believe he tried with all his might to prevent us from being friends.  However....to save a long story from being even longer, Satan obviously lost that battle. ... because Linzi truly became and still is like a sister to me. Her home, always felt like my home... her sisters, always felt and still do feel like sisters to me... and her parents... always made me feel as if they loved me as their own... and for that,  I just need to say Thankyou!

Thanks Linz for being who you are. Thank you for loving me for who I am, even with all my faults. Thanks for being patient when you call and call and I never answer. Thanks for all the hours and hours you spent squatted behind a plate, because I couldn't end until I pitched the "perfect pitch." Thanks for showing me the importance of being true to yourself. Thankyou for teaching me to stop and take time for the little things. Thanks for all the hours and hours of listening. Thanks for agreeing that our Clogging Costumes were itchy and too tight. Thanks for believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Thanks for being there in my most desperate times. Thanks for showing me how to love unconditionally. Thanks for being an example of virtue, and for showing me what happens when you follow your heart and stay true to your beliefs. Thanks for showing me where the best "spots" in town are. Thanks for making me take time to look at sunsets, feel the sand in my toes, make snow angels, lay in the grass, look at the stars, and love the simple things. Thanks for all the ice-cream and blondies I really didn't need to eat. Thank you! Thanks for being so patient with me and for being someone who is always constant in my life. You're beautiful!!!

Well... I took care of the inspiration portion of this entry... now for the mischief and a lot of smiles. 2 Months ago Linzi came into town for Judes 1st Birthday! ANd to celebrate the occasion, M&R had the privelege of capturing Judes one year old pictures. However, knowing that Linzi, Deb, Nikki and Ken were all going to be witnessing this photo shoot, and since I have a little in with the photographer ;)... I decided to crash in on Jude's Big Day! And I can't tell how, thankful I am that Jude shared his shining moments with Jaks and I. It gave me a longing and hope that maybe Jaks and Jude will share a friendship similar to Linzi's and mine. And it also gave me a glimpse of the trouble and adventures these two could have whenever they get together......lol, we both have our hands full! :)

(these pictures were taken at the end of Judes photo shoot when he was digging into his cake. OF course Jaks didn't want to miss out on the adventure and found his way over to the cake as well. These pictures were not posed or planned... just a moment of innocence captured. However, I will cherish them forever... we both can't get over the fact they were moving in sync with each other and somehow pulled the same faces in multiple pictures....I love it!!!)

And these two are the best... 

Jude must have felt Jaks wasn't getting enough in his mouth, cause he so kindly 

starting feeding Jaks himself. Thanks Jude!!

 

Tender Mercy

It's about 2:30 in the morning, and I am trying to wrap things up so I can actually get to bed.....However, in the midst of my stress and chaos, I came across these pictures. It's funny how the Lord gives us tender mercies every day... even at 2:30 in the morning when we feel overwhelmed, stressed and tired. 

A month in a half ago, while camping in Brian Head, we came across this amazing and perfect small patch of leaves. Fall was just approaching and we couldn't help but have a moment playing in them. It wasn't planned or posed.... just a moment that my Mom and Mel captured of Jaks and I playing in the leaves. And although I have no makeup on and I"m in my usual sweats... I had to post them. It definitely was a needed reminder that although failure seems to conquer in quite a few areas of my life...I am putting my entire heart and soul into one thing....and that success, is all that matters. 

I posted all of these, cause every picture brought on a different emotion.... and although a few are goofy.... I love them!!

I Seriously Love this Pic! LOL! He pulls the funniest faces!!

Jaks, thanks for making it so easy to be a mom! I love you SO much!!!